Don't think, just do it.

Hi,

I'm Arielle. Its been a while. Sorry, I left you for tumblr. Its okay though, this is much more writing friendly, where tumblr is more for stuff.

Hey, guess what? I did a lot of what I wanted to do this year. Fall quarter I was a triple intern, and the end of Spring Quarter made me a board member, commissioner/teacher, and an intern for a fil-am website. Go me.

But I'm still missing a lot. Like, for example, why the eff does my writing sound so boring and telling now? Where'd the creativity go? I think its because I haven't done enough creative things lately. I haven't watched or read or played anything for fun in a while. So all I'm focused on is the mundane and/or profeshh. No. Creativity, buddy, come back youse my best frennnn :(

But reason why I am writing this is really related to that ^^. Reason being, I am starting to get way too into the professional, and have been leaving behind the fun. I've been so cerebral lately. So immersed in current events and advocacy. The thing is though, I don't think I wanna just help people. I know that sounds bad. But I mean, I don't want my future to be devoted to directly helping people. I wanna do it creatively. I know I don't wana be a news anchor. I know I don't wanna just be a journalist. I wanna creative something, impact people. I don't wanna just report on it. I wanna use my strategist skills. I wanna do something more heartwarming and inspiring, rather than just fighting and devastating.

I've been taking the easy way out. I've been just thirsty for power, well okay not really power, but I have been so introverted for so long that now with the sudden abundance of social activities I have involved myself with, I have become bitten by the social bug. And as a result, started doing more to win the approval and admiration of others, but not enough to win the approval and admiration of myself.

I hate the way I am writing now. It's not even witty. This sound conceited, but I miss my wit. It was original. Smart. Creative. Now, probs because I have been taking so much time to try to learn how to help others and please others and act around others--I've lost a little bit of my uniqueness. NO.

That doesn't mean that I think my new relationships are unhealthy or give me pressure to be a certain way. Sure, that's there, but no one is making me feel like I have to act a certain way. Its just me. Because I never fucking feel like I am good enough. I love and hate that trait about me. The strong desire to need to be good enough. Not just for approval, but good enough as in--being smart. Being successful. Being funny. Being creative. I've never been one to be part of a crowd. I've always wanted to stand out for being me. But, I've lost a little of me because I realized that the old me never really knew what it was like to really be part of a bigger social group and crowd.

Huh.

Isn't it funny, how being different is the new being cool? How being original and starting trends is the trend, not following the trend? There's so much pressure now, not to be part of the crowd, but to be original. Wow. imagine that.

But is it just me, or is everyone's 'different' the same? There's a certain kind of weird that is acceptable, and then there is a certain weird that is still weird. Face it, same situation, different rules.

Hmm. But still, I am still making the same mistake as everyone else: I'm still not fully being true to myself because I know doing other things will make me likable to others.

I need to remember to have my me time. I used to be really talented. I feel like that sounds arrogant and conceited. But no, really. I would practice piano only like, 2 hours a week when I really should be doing that amount everyday. And yet, I would medal at competitions. I would go weeks without singing, or at least seriously singing, but during a jam session or a school talent show I would bust it out like it was natural. Which, it probs was. I would also love creative group projects. Especially improv. I loved acting. I loved dancing. I loved everything creative. I had such a great creative mind and was not only able to be good at it, but best of all, I owned it because I made it my own.

WHERE THE EFF DID I GO?!

Sometimes I blame La Reina. But other times I realize high school was probably the last time I was really as creative as I loved being.

You know what I noticed? I notice too much. But anyway, people are a lot more creative at UCI than at La Reina.

Okay I needa continue this late with an updated list of goals.

Stop the judging...

You know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? When you like something that is popular, and people immediately give you crap for it. Or people judge you and think you're just following the crowd and are not really being yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love originality. Actually, that is the whole reason why I hate when people judge me when they think I'm just following the crowd. I don't like being called unoriginal. I don't like when people think I don't think for myself. That has got to be one of the most insulting notions: not just getting put down for what I like, but also having someone tell me that I'm just a follower, and not my individual self. Excuse me? You are NOT what you like. You are NOT the trends you follow. You are NOT the group of people you hang out with. I think the only thing that constitutes YOU, is the way YOU act. If someone says they are original, and individual, and they like unique bands or dress original, but they ACT disrespectful, and ACT like everyone else in the way they talk, the way they view things, than I am sorry, but YOU are NOT original, or an individual.

I also hate that now, the trend seems to just be: be different. Okay, I don't hate the trend in itself, I agree, be as original, and as much YOU as you can be. But people are trying too hard to be different. Example, someone can ACT and dress all 'hipster' (***I AM NOT CALLING OUT HIPSTERS AND SAYING THEY ARE POSERS. THEY, COLLECTIVELY, ARE NOT. THIS IS ONLY AN EXAMPLE. I COULD HAVE USED ANY LABEL OR GROUP LIKE HIPHOP, PUNK, ETC. ***) to be different, original, and themselves. But if that person also calls out trendy people for dressing trendy (and they LIKE to dress that way), that hipster person is not being orginial or different. Or at least, they're violating they're own rule of being an individual. Because they are basically calling people out for not acting out the TREND they are following: being different.

I'm sorry. It just pisses me off. Also, I think people put you down for liking trendy things because they put you in the same category as actual 'bandwagon'-ers. Example: The Twilight Saga and the obsession with Robert Pattinson. Of course its not the most well-written novel the world has ever seen. Of course the edward/r-patz fans are effing annoying. But do you have to put me down for liking it? I don't have to think they're written well, I just like the story. It doesn't mean I don't have good taste in novels. Of course I think R-Patz is hot. But that doesn't mean I am an obsessive fan. Just because I like something, doesn't mean you can automatically put me in the same category as other people who like the same thing.
Oh, another thing, don't hate r-patz himself for his fan following. He did nothing but decide to become the star of one of the biggest and most obsessively-followed movie franchises in the world. If you didn't notice, he hates fame. He doesn't act like a cocky pretty boy, like a lot of RESPECTED actors. He doesn't ask for such a fan following. Don't hate him. Hate his obsessive fans.

And, the whole Laker-fan thing. I have been raised as a Laker fan. Which is why I cheer them on. I don't look down on opposing teams. I'll comment if ANY team does something wrong. I'll be fair. I don't hate the Celtics. I don't over-glorify Kobe, I understand that he can be way cocky and almost diva like at times. I just think it would be freaking awesome if I met him. I like him and respect him for his basketball skills. I like the Lakers because they are honestly a tight-knit, good, respectable team. I don't hate the Celtics, I hate what they do. I sometimes hate what the Lakers do, but I don't hate them. So--when you see that I am a devoted Laker fan, don't put me into the same category as those Celtics-hating, Kobe-obsessed, irrational, all talk fans who are only following a crowd. I honestly like what I like. And I HATE when people think I'm not being my individual self. Don't judge me for being trendy or following popular things. Don't insult me by suggesting that I don't think for myself.

On a kind of different note:

I also hate when people immediately disrespect you and don't take you seriously at the first sign of fear. I understand that though. Why should you trust someone/ follow someone who doesn't seem to know what they're doing? You would follow a confident person. People always listen if you are confident. Even if you aren't right. I know most of the time thats the best way. Because, if they sound credible, if they sound like they are efficable and worthy and being trusted, of course you would pick them to follow over someone who shows fear. But you know the problem with that? People can be SO easily persuaded by confidence. And immediately disregard someone who is in the right, but shows they are inconfident. People just read things wrong sometimes. They can be so easily influenced.

Hello, Hitler? Was arguably one of the most persuasive leaders in the world. Probably. Because who else but a good leader could convince a large following to hate people for such unreasonable and unjust reasons? Who else but a confident, fearless leader could do as much damage as him? He was one person. One person with big ideas. And big confidence. Thats the most immoral example, but probably the best example. People follow the confidence. People don't always listen to the cause. They don't always pay attention to the logistics of things. What sucks? In a way, this is good. People then are following their feelings, instead of just their brains and logic. But really, do both.

"I'm lovable. God doesn't make junk."

So I recently decided to clean out my room--dusting, vacumming, clearing out my drawers and organizing everything I usually just throw together. I came across this pin I got from high school, during my senior year retreat, KAIROS. Let me just say, I personally did not grow much from KAIROS. Reason being, that my attitude wasn't one where I really wanted to grow and let God in and all that. It was basically just me pretending I got so much out of the experience because, well, everyone else seemed to have. I wasn't just trying to fit in with the crowd just cause I didn't want to feel left out. But...I just felt bad that everyone else seemed to have left their hearts out in the open for everyone else to see, and I just couldn't. So I pretended that I did. I was actually a little pissed after coming back from it. It was like, I felt like there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I just take advantage of it and appreciated the fact that I could cry about my life for a whole 3-4 days and no one would judge me?
Despite the fact that I didn't take advantage of the experience itself, I do believe in the credo on the button they gave us, "I'm lovable. God doesn't make junk." It's funny that I should think about the pin again, with the recent events happening at school. A grad student had gone missing about a week ago, and was only found now, dead, from a proposed suicide. They said he had a plastic bag bag over his head, leading us all to believe he just suffocated himself to death. There was a facebook group to find him when everyone still thought he was missing, and someone posted the news of a dead body found near the campus. Someone who knew him thought it was ridiculous to think it was him. She (he? I forgot...haha) refused to believe it was him, and said he was definitely not suicidal.

It's kinda interesting the defensive way she had put that. She said it in a way as if she was defending his image. I mean, of course you wouldn't want anyone you know to be suicidal, and obviously you would want to defend them in matters as serious as their death. But by calling it ridiculous, she kind of brought up a good point about how everyone stereotypes people who would committ suicide. Most would think they should be crazy. Or complete social outcasts. Or heartless. Which makes sense, because, what would make you so hurt to the point of taking your own life? Some people call it selfish. I agree and disagree with this. Its just. If you really were thinking of taking your own life, there's certainly more than one party responsible. If you really had a supportive family, friends, and people in your life that don't deserve the pain of your loss, than you wouldn't go there. I mean, they must be at fault in some way for not knowing what is going on with you. You could hide your feelings well. But if you're suicidal, you would've had to had shown some signs of depression. Or signs of feeling hopeless. You could show it a little, but never admit to people how deeply you've thought about it. But really, if people actually did care enough, they would see it. They would see the problem. If people really don't know to the point someone is depressed, than that person must not have close, loving enough relationships. So, again, who could really blame only the suicidal person for what they did? Honestly, one person is responsible for their own life, I understand that. There is only so much others can do to help someone else. But I don't get how someone could let themselves go like that all on their own.
For every person who thinks they can't talk to someone about their problems--there's always some reason behind that. I don't get it. I really want to argue that it is all socially learned, the ability to committ suicide. I think it is. Because, I think some where down the line, they learned to adhere to social norms and live their lives the way society seems to accept it, instead of thinking for themselves (obviously). Actually, I think suicide is entirely a result of socialization. Because you somehow don't fit in with people. Because you don't have the right people around you to make you feel worthy of life. Because you haven't learned how to feel lovable. Because if you honestly learned how to be lovable, if you actually learned how to love yourself, and felt loved in your life, I don't think you would committ suicide.
It's easy for people to say suicidal people are selfish. Maybe they are sometimes, its circumstantial. But I'm just saying, suicide is NOT a purely self-formed action. It comes from feeling like you don't want to LIVE with everyone else in society. That's it. It comes from not wanting to feel depression within yourself, so that is the internal part. But you wouldn't feel that way if society hadn't made certain things that made you feel inclined to think of yourself a certain way. It's not just the person's fault. How could you call someone who feels they can't love themselves, selfish? I call that--insecurity. I call it--not being able to feel lovable to others' standards. If a human being just lived by themselves, would they ever want to committ suicide? No, because that is the way they are supposed to live. If you think yes, then it's because they feel lonely. BINGO. Because God made human beings so we couldn't live without each other. So, if someone feels like they don't want to live...doesn't that mean they're alone? So, doesn't that mean that someone isn't helping them fulfill what God made us for?

We have all felt that way to some degree in our lives. Felt like we didn't like ourselves in some way. So, its easy to say that they are being selfish. That they shouldn't believe there isn't some way that someone will love them. But, what if those people aren't so lucky? And, what if they are? You can be surrounded by a lot of loving people, but you can also be surrounded by a lot of people who love in limited ways. So, you'd still be not as lucky.

I don't know. I don't want to look down on suicidal people. I don't want to just feel sorry for them either. I think it'd be better if people realized that it isn't just the suicidal person's fault. It's society. It's living up to expectations. And if it isn't that, it's not being able to find people to love you enough when you can't live up to societal expectations. Humans, by nature, are dependent on each other. If one kills themself, they affect others. If others affect someone, they could themselves. It's a mutual relationship.

In general, I don't think there is anyone born with some innate ability to kill, or do horrible things. Wait, take that back. I think everyone has the innate abilities to kill or do horrible things. Its in our nature, because we are imperfect by nature. It's also in our nature to love, and do great things. So. If we are wired this way, the only explanation as to why some people sway to one or the other, is the way they are brought up. I don't think murderers are born to murder. There is some kinda scientific evidence supporting people being biologically more inclined to certain behaviors. I believe that. But I think, if you mix those bio bases, with bad social upbringing=murderers, societal outcasts, etc. So like, thats a duh. But, people don't think about that when they see people. A lot of the times, when we thinking of accepting people, there's even a norm about that. We accept people who aren't normal, but still have good hearts. We accept people who have made mistakes, but show they are willing to change. So, when it comes to a completely stone-hearted, hopeless individual--we just kinda disregard them. What more can we do? I don't know. But no one was born to live that kind of life. No one's life should be wasted, just because we believe them to be unworthy. The truth? we are all worthy. There is no doubt that some shouldn't be rewarded, but its just...I feel like we should implement more self-help programs. In mental hospitals, though a lot of the cases are because of scientific reasons, there really is reason why we still shouldn't encourage crazy people to feel better about themselves. There's no way we can completely change them, but every individual that feels unloved obviously has something they are missing.
A lot of times, people just reinforce the negativities of others. They just attribute it to their personalities. Thats just who they are. But they never say, that they could seem them differently. They may say that they could seem them being great if they tried. That they have potential. But if you honestly told a person, I believe in you. I don't doubt you. I'll love you. I will be here...then what? People have tried that, I know. So the person has to change their own thinking. UGH. Ya I am pointing out obvious things. But people still seem to stereotype. They still just judge. They just see it how it is. But not how it could be. I don't get how we let people think they are unworthy, unlovable. I don't understand how we can just say its their own fault. It can't be.

NO.MORE.

This is gonna become my diary. Which is okay cause I don't think people really read this. If you are reading this, I hope its just cause you care. Or you are just curious--which is also okay since I totally do that too. But a warning, its gonna get kinda heavy.
I really fucking hate where I'm at in life right now. I kinda feel like I'm dead inside. Yep. I said it outloud--or wait--online. I am dead. I am dead because I let other people influence my choices and feelings to the point where I don't listen or trust myself. Therefore, I'm not really LIVING. I am dead.
Its not even like people are mean to me. I just can't bring myself to find happiness anymore. I can hardly explain my feelings clearly. I feel stupid. I don't want to put effort into anything I do. I don't see a point. I can't decide on a major because I don't have a passion for anything. I want to say I want to major in English, but I always get so frustrated with myself and think I'm stupid. I don't enjoy anything that requires work. Simply because I get so focused on the fact that its hard and I will probably mess up. I feel like that with everything I do.
Whats worse is I hate when people call me out on it. 'It' meaning they call me out on when I can't do something or look unsure of myself. Its annoying, because they get so confused, or wait, thats not a good enough word--they just have such a hard time understanding why I would act so unsure or insecure. Maybe I should take that as a compliment, people don't think I should be so stupid. Yeah.

I just can't bring myself to put effort into anything anymore. I know the way to handle this is to 'believe in myself, stop caring about what other people think and go for my dreams' and all that. But the problem is, I don't have any. I don't know what I want to do. Well, okay, I do know what I wish I could do, but I'm not sure if its just cause I like the idea of being this or that person. I know thats confusing. But I don't seem to have any innate passion for anything in particular. Or maybe I've just lost it. Now I basically just look at people and pick which type of person I would like to be like the best. No, that was a really bad explanation. I don't really do that. I do to an extent, but not to the point where there isn't some ounce of the real me in it. Did that make sense? No. I hate myself. Okay it did make sense. I know a lot of people in general do that too.
My writing has become so disorganized since last year. I haven't taken any writing classes. Actually, I haven't taken any classes that require any sort of work other than reading. Which I haven't done. Which brings me back to what I wanted to make my point--I feel like I'm wasting time. And talent. I am doing nothing more than the ordinary--eating, sleeping, walking to class, sitting and not paying attention, studying last minute for a midterm, and working out. I hardly watch tv I like anymore. I don't really listen to much music. I have no other hobbies at the moment. What the hell. Why am I dead?!
I fucking hate my life. You know what I have realized? We all need to stop complaining and look at all the opportunities and options we have to make ourselves better. That sentence didn't sound as profound as I wanted it to sound. I'll shutup with the little insecure side comments now.
No. But really. You have an opportunity to learn something new, meet someone new, try something new every day. But most of us choose to go about our days, with the same routine, not giving ourselves a chance to be something more. What are we doing? What am I doing?? I can learn a new word in a different language everyday. I can try to do one nice thing a day for someone else. I can learn how to cook something different. I can introduce myself (in a non-creep-ish way) to someone new. I can discover new bands to listen to, learn a random fact. Watch a tv show I'd never seen before. Even though that all sounds kinda normal and every day-ish, I think it is necessary. To stop the routine. Well, okay, if you have time--stop the routine. Don't just go to class, work out, then go online. Learn something new every day. Its possible.

Yeah that all sounds like simple everyday stuff. Blegh. Can I please make myself do something more? I just don't know how to motivate myself after being so stagnant and immobile (..same word meaning..?) for so long. I don't want to waste my time anymore. I only have 2 more years of college left. I really want to make them count. Make up for my stupid first two years where I cared waayy too much about what people thought and didn't do anything. Oh. Thats another thing. Why do I think other people will always judge me? Not everyone is so mean. Most people are nice. And don't want to see you fail. Or they will pretend to be nice and then talk about how you annoy them behind your back. Which you still shouldn't give a care about because you either won't know, or they aren't worth your time. Thats a problem. I'm the one being judgemental. I have so many walls up I don't let people in. I know its from my past experiences in life, its just, now that I know what my problem is, I need to move on and live. Instead of writing long blog entries complaining about how horrible my life is because I make it horrible.

I am in a life rut. I have been in this life rut on and off for a few years now. I swear I'm not crazy or weird. Well okay, I am weird but not a bad kind of weird. I just kinda lost my way somewhere around the end of my teenage years and have been caught up in this stupid never-ending cycle of fear ever since. Don't ask what caused it, you don't want to know. But I want to sleep. I will just leave with this: I refuse to let myself be dug deeper in this rut of nothingness. NO. MORE. Hopefully I will take my rut-experiences and use them for good-in giving advice to people who have similar problems. I am a freaking nutcase I just wrote like a whole psych therapy session or something on this thing. Okay, I need to sleep NIGHT.

**WAIT. Disclaimer: I'm not like gonna kill myself or anything. This makes me sound really bad. Don't worry I am OKAY.

The Lenten Season

-A heart shaped cloud we saw on the way to church :)

I've realized that in the past year and a half I've lost touch with my faith. I mean, even when I went to a catholic school I wasn't that religious, it just so happened I had to pray every day in class and go to mass because it was mass day at school. Sometimes I feel like I only practice Catholicism because its the only religion I know, and I take comfort in the tradition and familiarity of it. Of course that's why. I believe in it to an extent, but I don't quite follow the church documents, or believe that a church should have as many specified guidelines as the Catholic church does.

But. This Lenten season has made me feel a little bit different. I guess I've never really needed God as much as I do right now, or least, I haven't asked Him for as much as I have lately. On Ash Wednesday I went to Interfaith on campus, where they held a couple masses and gave out ashes. The inital reason I went was because I wanted to get ashes and be in solidarity with the other Catholics on campus. I also honestly wanted other people on campus to notice and try to figure out why I had a black smudge that vaguely resembed a cross on my forehead. I know, that kinda makes me seem like I'm looking for attention. But its kinda funny.

It was weird though, cause again, I am not that religious, I just practice Catholicism cause its the only way I really know how to pray and believe in God. When I went to mass, it felt like I was fulfilling some part of me that was missing. Again, not that religious to begin with. Maybe it was just comforting. But still...this was different. The priest's Homily (oriental asian catholic--haha. I thought he was filipino at first but I think he was actually vietnamese) was the usual Lent speech,'this is a season to better yourself, practice self control, and become closer to God and dadadadada...' (haha I actually never end my quotations with 'dadadadada...' in free writing or outloud. I thought I'd try. I don't really like it).

But he also said something I really needed to hear. I don't remember it word for word, but he basically was saying that the emphasis of this season is really on the 'closer to God' part. He said that, its not so much about commiting to your Lenten promise of giving up sweets or whatever, but mostly about trying to feel like you have the willpower to do that. Feeling like you have God's willpower, and love in you. That's what that whole Lenten promise/giving something up for Lent thing is all about. Feeling like you can achieve to some extent the power that the Lord had when he rose from the dead to forgive our sins. Wait, a better way to put it--feeling like Jesus was strong and died for us in order to give us the strength to live through everything in our lives. The priest also said something that actually made me feel less shitty about myself and the fact that I really haven't been strong for God. He said the way to feel closer to His strength is to really believe and ask Him to stay with you and be in your heart. Allow Him to put that strength in you and and believe that you have it. Yeah, that doesn't just mean, 'person: God, make me strong. God: K!' It means, going through your life and believing you can do the things you think are hard because you were created with a strength and greatness that only God could've enborn within you. Its about faith. Which I have totally been lacking in my 20 years of half-assed Catholic practicing.

So I even went to church again last Sunday, which I think I will try to do every Sunday during Lent. The priest had a really funny Pee Wee Herman-ish twang in his voice, so it was hard to focus on his homily at first. But when I got past the funny voice thing I listened and really liked his homily too. He was talking about a politician whose campign slogan was "Say what you mean, mean what you say, and get the job done." The message here was obviously, be honest in your intentions and really make an effort. Which is something that Lent really focuses on too. I feel like this is God telling me like..."Dude. Its OKAY. Just do whatever you want, I'll make it happen, and you'll be happy."

I'm not a by the Bible kind of Catholic. But I do feel really connected to God sometimes. I mostly just pray for things, and try to live morally. I think thats good enough. I feel like going to church and listening to more homilies just makes it better for me. That I don't HAVE to be a by the bible, bible study kinda person to feel close to God.

On another note, I've given up facebooking in class for Lent. Maybe I should also add giving up everything that distracts me in class for Lent. I am also trying to get back into exercising so I don't break my back (yes that makes sense, I have to strengthen it in order to feel better), and making a conscious effort to put myself out there and get out of this stupid shlump I have been in for too long.

k. Probably the most religiousity you'll get from me. Well actually no, maybe there will be more.
:)

(: iAdventuros de Las Roomitas! :)

So. Welcome to my Grotto. I have conformed (if you can say there are enough people on blog sites that it is conformity) to the blogger world!!

I'll start this off with a little segment I like to call, "iAventuros de Las Roomitas!" in which I will document my various adventures with my lovely hispanic roommates! Hahah. I'm so lame. We constructed a sort of sophomore year bucket list that we intend to dominate before we move out of good 'ol 29284.

The plan for today was to go into West Hollywood to try Millions of Milkshakes, which is a milkshakes &more place that has a lot of celebrity-created drinks. After we were gonna go into Toluca Lake to stalk some Disney stars' houses (you can guess which ones yourselves. We are not giving out any information. We do not know anything.), and hope to possibly run into/see someone famous.

But before that we had to take Marissa to Urgent Care (don't worry she's okay). On the way there, I almost ran over a biker who was totally not riding in the bike lane. Not my fault. OH and he was going straight in a right turn only lane. SO not my fault. We get there, there were lots of magazines, Marissa had to give a tube full of blood, and then we went to Rite Aid to get her pills/ perscription and got Subway while waiting. Fun stuff! :)

Eventually we leave at around 1-1:15 to go to West H-wood. This time I almost kill a pedestrian using a crosswalk. (Totally my fault). On the way there, we notice my Yahoo! Maps directions are shit so we decide to go another way, then get stuck in traffic...yay. Oh! Andd I loved the weather today, because it looked like a bunch of angry gray clouds were gonna get together and do some damage but it turned out to be quite a beautiful sunny day.

Anyways, on the freeway while having a discussion on Christianity, God, and His 3 parts, a car with the license plate '1mesiah' passes us. Huge coincidence much? After a few more minutes on the freeway we realize we were really freaking far away from where we were supposed to be, so I make the random decision to switch to a random freeway and we actually end up in the right place- we decided it was an act of God. So we drive into Hollywood, get lost, I have yet another 'car vs. pedestrians' moment, in where I stop on the crosswalk on a red light, and the bitch-LA pedestrians not-so-kindly let me know its illegal by not-so-lightly tapping on the back of my car and giving me a "learn to drive dumbass" look (My fault. But they didn't have to be so mean about it..).

While lost in Beverly Hills, we see a girl who we are pretty sure was Kelly Kapour (Mindy Kaling) from The Office eating lunch. She had a lot of makeup on, and when she noticed us stare at her she looked down in a ,"omg don't draw attention to me" -way(you know, as opposed to a "why the eff are those weirdos staring at me" -way). We FINALLY got to Millions of Milkshakes, kinda got owned by our good but intensely sweet milkshakes, and tried to find a bathroom. Lots of fails, then went to a library (with like the sketchy-est looking readers I've ever seen..but I don't want to judge) and found an extremely confusing bathroom system. And probably every version of the Great Gatsby ever.


The drive from M.O.M. to Toluca Lake was quite difficult as well. (Yahoo! Maps suck). I get a little lost, have a 'car vs. car' moment (TOTALLY my fault, nothing bad happened), and we eventually get to Toluca Lake. The houses were SO pretty. We take pictures, find Miley's house, and then try to look for the J-bros' house. One house looked like it could've been theirs', so we stopped to look at it for a second. I saw the curtain in the window move, followed by their porch light suddenly coming on. Thenn the owner came out, gave us the scariest freaking "wtf are you doing staring at my house" look, and we bolted. After a long yet relaxing drive back from our escapades (which involved playing the number game, would you rather, and rating celebrities), we get back, and Cynthia finds online that: JOHNNY DEPP and Nick Jonas were in the Hollywood/W. Hollywood area today, aandd Joe Jonas was seen walking out of a house in Toluca Lake today. Hoolllyyy SHIITT why didn't we see nobodayy??



Whatever. It was a good day. And Cynthia may have pinpointed the J-Bros' exact home (but don't worry she won't go all crazy stalker on them and try anything weird to meet them). OHH and we ended the day going to an Olympics party, where we dressed as a country and watched the Olympics and drank. I was Jamacia. Marissa was Canada. Cynthia was France. I put my hair in little braids, put a beanie over it, put a Jamacian flag on my shirt, and wore Jamacian clothes and a peace sign necklace. Marissa wore red and white and put a maple leaf on her shirt. Cynthia wore red white and blue and a beanie that looked french. We looked cute.



It was a good day. Some things I learned? Yahoo! Maps suck, I need to stop trying to kill people when I drive, and we should really look at our surroundings more when we're in LA. Mkay well I am really freaking tired. Goodnight! :)




-Possibly Kelly???